Recovering After an Affair: 7 Steps to Affair Recovery

Published: 12th June 2009
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If you've recently discovered that your partner has had an affair you are probably devastated. You likely feel like you've been punched in the gut and your world has been turned upside down. You might feel you never want to see your partner again much less try to put the shattered pieces of your marriage back together. Yet, most couples do remain together after infidelity has been discovered.

It may seem impossible now, but affair recovery is possible. In fact, some couples who have struggled through the crisis of an affair have found that after working on themselves and their marriage, their relationship is stronger and deeper than before the affair.

Read on and discover 7 Steps to help your marriage to not only survive an extramarital affair but to thrive afterward.

1. Acknowledge the betrayal, what it means and how it will affect the relationship between the two of you.

2. Listen to and validate your partner's feelings about the betrayal. Avoid any temptation to cut your partner off or give impression they should "just get over it" or move past it more quickly.

3. Avoid sweeping it all under the rug in the guise of "moving forward" in the relationship. Both partners must deal with their own and each other's feelings that preceded and have been triggered by the affair.

4. Cheating spouse must make amends. This often means fulfilling requests by your spouse which will help reassure him/her and help increase their feeling of security in the relationship. These steps are necessary to help rebuild the trust in the relationship.

5. Rebuild trust.

6. Take an honest look at the marriage and explore what may have contributed to the partner's decision to have an affair.

7. For the cheating spouse, take an honest look at what led you down this path. If something was lacking in your marriage, what kept you from directly stating what you needed and letting your partner know the state of mind you were in about it. What could you have done differently to avoid going down this road. Share these insights with your spouse.

Repairing your marriage after infidelity is neither simple nor easy. Yet it is possible. Many couples eventually do thrive after the discovery of an extramarital affair. If you and your partner are trying to get through the pain of an affair and are struggling and feel stuck seek a qualified therapist who specializes in affair recovery in your area.

For more tips and articles on affair recovery and creating the relationship you long for get my free report: "21 Ways to Renew Love, Passion and Fun" at

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